What You Need to Know Before Giving Birth: A Real Talk Guide
Bringing a baby (or babies) into the world is SO exciting, but let’s be real—it can also be a little daunting knowing your entire life is about to change. If you’re feeling a mix of emotions, I’m here to validate and tell you that’s totally normal! Whenever you’re doing something for the first time, it’s hard to know exactly what to expect. And we all know how triggering the unknown can be. There were A LOT of things that totally caught me off guard that I was definitely not prepared for when it came to birth and postpartum, so hoping you mamas can learn from my experience.
A little prep really does go a long way, so here’s the lowdown on what you should know before the big day!.
Do Your Research Ahead of Time
There’s a lot to think about before birth, so take some time to research important topics like:
Your OBGYN: research and interview OBGYN’s before choosing the one who will deliver your baby. I interviewed several and landed on one who ultimately saved my life. Had I been with just any doctor, I’m not sure I’d still be here today. This isn’t to scare you, just to encourage you to choose your medical team wisely… they are most definitely NOT all the same.
Vaccine recommendations for you and baby and TRUE informed consent (including potential benefits, risks, and side effects (www.justtheinserts.com is a great resource to start)
Different birth settings (hospital, birth center, home birth)
Labor interventions (including risks and benefits) and what to expect
Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding - highly recommend meeting with a lactation consultant IN PERSON before giving birth along with researching various clean formula brands (repeat after me… “we ALWAYS read the ingredient label”)
Newborn screenings and medical procedures after birth, including benefits, risks, and alternatives
Postpartum mental health and recovery - have a therapist ready to roll, call upon your village, and accept ALL the support. Prepare for the 5-5-5 once you get home: 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days near the bed. This gives you a solid two weeks of focused intentional rest.
The more informed you are, the more confident you’ll feel when making decisions for you and your baby.
Figure Out Your Birth Plan (But Stay Flexible)
A birth plan is basically your wishlist for labor and delivery—like whether you want pain meds, who’s in the room with you, interventions for baby post-birth, and overall wishes. I will say that it’s great to have a plan, but keep in mind that things literally never go as expected, so be flexible. It’s out of your control anyway. This is the point where you surrender and put all your trust in God and your doctor. I printed out several copies of my birth plan prior to arriving at the hospital and handed it to EVERY single medical professional in the room. That way there would be no questions about my wishes.
Know the Signs That Baby’s on the Way
I was already in the hospital for a few days before the twins came due to severe preeclampsia so i’m not a total expert in this topic but I do know that labor can start in a few different ways, so watch out for these signs:
Contractions that get stronger and more consistent
Your water breaking (this doesn’t typically look like a huge gush like you see in the movies)
Lower back pain or cramping
A “bloody show” (losing the mucus plug)
If you notice these, it might be go-time! Call your doctor or head to the hospital when things start progressing.
I also hear of A LOT of scheduled inductions these days. If this is the case for you, be sure to ask your doctor WHY they are recommending a scheduled induction and ask for the supporting research. Of course everyone’s situation is totally different but for a healthy standard pregnancy, scheduling an induction can significantly increase your odds of having to undergo a cesarean section. This is just a simple reminder to do your research and be your own advocate. Don’t ever be afraid to ask WHY.
Pack That Hospital Bag Early
Don’t wait until the last minute to throw stuff in a bag! Here are some must-haves:
Comfy clothes / robe
Bring pillows, blankets, and a bath towel
Toiletries (trust me, you’ll want lip balm and a hair tie)
Snacks (because hospital food usually sucks)
Baby clothes and a blanket
Can of formula (so you don’t have to rely on the formula your hospital carries if you aren’t able to breastfeed right away)
Important documents (ID, insurance, birth plan)
Long phone charger (because you'll be taking ALL the pics)
Prepare and Coach your Partner
Most men are clueless. There, I said it. So be sure to coach your partner on exactly what you need and DON’T need during birth and afterwards. They can’t read your mind. Tell them how it is they can support you, whether that’s repeating encouraging mantras, fanning you and holding your hand, or shutting up and stepping aside. Whatever it is that you will need, it’s best to talk it through ahead of time. Giving birth, regardless of if you do it vaginally or via c-section, takes a mindset that is hard to explain. You need to be focused and present in your body, and not distracted by your partner.
Prepare for Postpartum Recovery
Your body is gonna need some serious TLC after delivery. I mean you just gave birth to a human OR HUMANS!!!!! No one could’ve prepared me for the walk to the bathroom after my C-section...literally my entire body was shaking uncontrollably and it was excruciatingly painful. Granted, my birth was horrible and a near death experience so my advice in this section is going to be pretty basic in terms of the average experience. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the sooner you are up and walking around, the quicker your recovery will be. So put on your big girl diaper and LFG!
In the weeks afterwards expect some bleeding (any clots larger than an egg in size should warrant a call to your OBGYN), soreness, and crazy hormones. You will cry, A LOT, and have no idea why. You will have wild hot flashes in the middle of the night. Stay hydrated!! Stock up on those maternity pads or diapers, have comfy clothes ready, and prepared nourishing meals waiting for you in the freezer. The first 40 days is an amazing guide for how to nourish your postpartum body! The only thing you should be worried about during this time is healing and spending quality time with your baby - leave everything else to your partner and village. Also, please be kind to yourself—recovery takes a looooong time, and every birth experience is different.
Newborn 101: The Basics
Once baby’s here, you’ll be in full-on parent mode. Some things to know:
You’ll go to the pediatrician within the first few days of being discharged from the hospital so it’s best to do your due diligence on the front end - I interviewed several pediatricians and chose the one that aligned most with our values and belief systems around health.
Feeding: Breastfeeding or formula, fed is best! I’ll do another post on this topic because I have loooots of thoughts here.
Diapering: Get ready for LOTS of changes (I’ve changed A LOT of diapers since my twins were born and have tried literally all of the nontoxic diaper brands and no one beats Coterie. They are beyond soft, great for sensitive skin, and free of harmful chemicals.)
Sleep: Say goodbye to sleep because you’ll never sleep again lol I wish I was kidding. Ultimately, just remember that safe sleep is key—baby on back, firm mattress, no loose blankets
Umbilical cord care: Keep it dry and clean (it’ll eventually fall off)
Eye gunk: it’s very normal for babies to get clogged tear ducts in those first few days/weeks. Putting a few drops of breastmilk in the eye typically does the trick.
When to call the doc: Know the signs if baby isn’t feeling well
Set boundaries: this is probably the most important tip through postpartum. Whatever your wants are for guests, visitors, etc. make sure you have them identified beforehand and don’t for a second feel bad about enforcing them. We had no visitors besides my parents until the babies were 4 months old. No one EVER kissed my babies. and if anyone had even a measly sniffle, I said to stay TF away. This is a precious time for you and your baby, don’t accommodate to anyone!!!!
Also taking a few newborn care class before birth can be a game-changer. The website linked is also the site I got my breast pump through, which was covered by my insurance plan! Highly recommend. It was a super easy process and their classes were very helpful (I think I took 6 of them all together!)
Lean on Your People
Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or a postpartum doula, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Parenting seriously takes a village, and having support makes all the difference. We were never meant to do it alone. I would also say, if it’s in your budget, absolutely get a night nurse/nanny a couple nights a week for the first few weeks.
Final Thoughts
Giving birth truly is a wild ride. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel. Trust yourself and your body, stay flexible, and know that you’ve got this! And when in doubt, reach out for help—because no one should have to figure it all out alone.