SISTERS!!! I am BACK!
I needed to disconnect for a little while so I could really be present and soak in every second of healing, GETTING MARRIED, and honeymooning! BUT I am happy to say that I am BACK and better than ever and hopefully you will be hearing from me much more often!! YAY! With that being said, let’s talk about boobs.
Drumroll PLEASE!! FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYY! The BOOB BLOG that everyone has been waiting for!!! I finally feel like I am in a place mentally, physically, and emotionally to share my experience with everyone! PRAISE JESUS, halleluiah!!!!!!!
It has been almost 8 months since my explant and I’m literally thrilled to announce that I have been feeling AMAZING and am in such a good place.
I want to start at the beginning of my journey because I have had many people reach out to me curious about my experience and why I came to the decision to get my breast implants explanted.
I got my implants in on Christmas break my senior year of college (so, December 2014)! My reasoning for getting implants is, of course, intertwined with insecurities and self-esteem issues that started in middle school. I was a “late bloomer” - as they say - and can remember begging my mom to buy me a bra, even though it would serve absolutely no purpose for my flat chest. Wearing a bra and having boobs signified being a woman to me, which was of the upmost importance when you’re in the midst of puberty! I can remember getting teased by mean kids saying, “Elise is as flat as her middle name” and for those of you that don’t know, my middle name is Walls. How clever, right?
So after years of pondering the idea, I decided to get implants! I honestly wasn’t nervous at all going into the surgery and didn’t have many questions for the surgeon, since I knew it was such a common surgery! He told me that he recommended “Mentor - gummy bear silicone implants” placed under the muscle, because they look and feel the most natural. We decided on 325CC’s on my right side and 350CC’s on my left, to even out my naturally asymmetrical breasts. Surgery went well and recovery was fine! I was back to school a few weeks later and loved my new boobs! I felt like they balanced my body out more, I was more confident, and felt more like a woman (which sounds dumb to say out loud now… but it’s how I felt)!
6 months later, I graduated college and took a job at a staffing company in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was living life to the absolute fullest and having a blast. A few months into starting my new job, I noticed some weird symptoms. I had random aches and pains, no appetite, body temperature issues, and some GI issues. I didn’t think much of it because my symptoms weren’t on a consistent enough basis for me to think something may be wrong. Then… I got these huge bumps on my hands that were hot, red, and painful to touch… and it was honestly all downhill from there. If you haven’t already, I recommend you read my blog post called “THE ROLLERCOASTER FROM HELL” to take you through the next 4 years of my life and catch you up to speed.
I can remember specifically about 2 years into being sick, I had two doctors voice their concerns with implants and recommend that I get them explanted immediately. I was in the midst of an emotional and physical nightmare, so I honestly didn’t give their recommendation that much thought at all. In my mind, I had already given up so much of my life and identity to my illness. I told myself and my mom that “getting my implants taken out would be my absolute LAST resort”. Fast forward 2 more years to January 2019! At this point, I had been in remission from Chronic Lyme for about a year and a half and had done absolutely EVERYTHING you could imagine to get better. Yet, I was still very much symptomatic and having “bad days” a few times a week. I was unable to work, unable to socialize, unable to do much beyond wake up, cry, and lay on the couch all day – I was desperate.
It was then that my mom starting doing some research on breast implants and came across something called “Breast Implant Illness” and then did some more digging. Isn’t it crazy that moms just KNOW and are always right with their intuitions and gut feelings?? She showed me this Facebook page called “Breast Implant Illness by Nicole” that has over 70,000 women who’s implants are making them sick. We both joined the group and spent DAYS just reading peoples stories and getting information on what this illness is and who it impacts.
****I want to note before I get into all of this that there are PLENTY of people out there who may have implants and have no issues whatsoever from them! I just happened to be one of many who had issues with mine.
People with Breast Implant Illness typically have compromised immune systems, as I do genetically. Implants are made from synthetic chemicals and toxins… so when they are put in, your body recognizes them as a “foreign invader” and like anything that isn’t supposed to be in the body, your immune system reacts. It does so by creating a barrier called a capsule around the implant (I will attach images of mine at the bottom of this post but WARNING – THEY ARE GRAPHIC). At this point, consider your immune system on high alert or in fight or flight mode.
For me, we know that I was infected with Lyme Disease for a very long time before I got sick. It was dormant in my body waiting for the right moment to attack. The best way I can explain it is to think of my immune system as a boxer in a boxing ring and think of the Lyme Disease as a boxer walking around the ring waiting for the right time to jump in and kick my immune systems ass. But since I was otherwise a pretty healthy young woman, the Lyme boxer remained outside the ring for YEARS (dormant). THEN when I got implants, a new boxer (the implants) entered the ring with my immune system and my immune system started to FIGHT. My immune system boxer was so preoccupied with the implant boxer and was getting weaker and weaker from the fight that FINALLY the Lyme boxer jumped in the ring and started to beat the shit out of my immune system boxer from behind and wreaked havoc on my body (the ring) all while my immune system was still desperately trying to get the implant boxer out of the ring! Make sense???
After researching and reading so many stories on this Facebook page, I decided I wanted mine out. I was willing to do whatever it took to gain my health back and was hopeful that this was the last step to my healing journey. Once I decided I wanted to move forward with the surgery, we had to find a surgeon. It is SO important that you find a surgeon that is certified and willing to do an “Enbloc” explant or a “Capsulectamy”. This means that the surgeon will remove the implant with the capsule attached in whole (Enbloc) or remove the implant and ensure the entire removal of the capsule as well – but may need to be taken out in two pieces due to adhesion to the ribcage and surrounding tissue. Enbloc is preferred but for some patients, it is just not possible. For me, my capsule was adhered to my ribcage so the surgeon performed a Capsulectamy explant. IT IS VITAL THAT THEY TAKE OUT THE ENTIRE CAPSULE!!!!! The capsule is essentially tissue that is a breeding ground for bacteria, toxins, and even mold … YES, I SAID MOLD.
On the Facebook group I keep mentioning, they have a linked website, which has a wealth of knowledge on Breast Implant Illness, a list of certified surgeons (I found mine on there), and the healing/detoxification process post-explant. I will link the site here:
https://healingbreastimplantillness.com
I chose Dr. Jonathan Heistein as my surgeon who is located in Southlake, Texas. He is a certified micro-surgeon and has done hundreds of explants. The scheduling process was easy! I had a consultation with him where he took the time to discuss my health in depth with me and why I wanted my implants taken out. He told me that due to the fact that my implants weren’t that large and that I am young and will have good elasticity post-surgery, I would not need a lift along with the explant. Some women do, some don’t. It depends on a lot of different factors but your surgeon will be able to discuss all the options with you if you are considering getting an explant. Then, we scheduled my explant for March 29th, 2019 and put down the deposit.
The surgery cost around $5,000 including anesthesia. It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing you spent 5k to get the implants just to spend another 5k four years later to get them out. BUT you truly cannot put a price on health and I needed these toxic bags out of me.
Below is a list of common BII symptoms and I will mention the ones I experienced.
I experienced: anxiety, fatigue, joint pain, brain fog, memory loss, limb numbness/tingling, fever/chills, muscle weakness, temperature intolerance, sensitivity to light, sound and smell, slow healing, recurrent illness, visual disturbances (floaters), headaches, decreased libido, chronic fatigue symptoms, fibromyalgia symptoms, chronic inflammation, and hormonal imbalances.
Out of all the symptoms associated with BII, I would say I experienced about 90% of them. There’s no way to tell exactly how much of those were Lyme related… however, as I mentioned, I was still very much symptomatic AFTER getting into remission for Lyme. I consider the symptoms I experienced post-Lyme remission related to BII.
The days leading up to my surgery, I was an ANXIOUS MESS. I was terrified about the pain, the drains that had to go in post-surgery, how my boobs would look afterwards, how bad the scars would be, and WTF I WOULD DO IF I WASN’T BETTER AFTER THIS. This surgery was my very last chance I had at becoming better. If this didn’t work, there were no next moves. THIS WAS IT and it HAD TO WORK!!!!
March 29th@ 5:30am: Carl and my mom drove me to my surgery and we paid the remaining balance, completed all the paperwork, and then went back to pre-op.
They started me with an IV and gave me a patch to wear behind my ear to avoid nausea from the anesthesia. Then I spoke with Dr. Heistein and it was GO TIME. I laid down on the surgery table and the next thing I know, I was waking up to Carl telling me everything went great. I wasn’t in pain, just confused, tired, and nauseous.
I threw up twice (GOD BLESS CARL FOR HOLDING MY BARF BAG) and then waited until I was coherent enough to go home. I slept the rest of the day and the following day, I felt fine. Minimal pain (was on pain killers) and binged watched Schitt’s Creek on Netflix. I had my wonderful angel of a mother as my nurse and was doing fine until day 3 post-op.
Day 3 Post-op: I woke up with a HORRIBLE migraine. I was vomiting, couldn’t see anything, and having a panic attack all at the same time. My parent’s decided to call an ambulance because I couldn’t walk and they didn’t want to risk my dad pulling out my drains by carrying me to the car.
We got to the hospital, and they gave me some drugs and I was back home in bed 5 hours later. I honestly think the pain killers gave me the migraine or maybe because my body just realized what the hell I did to it and freaked out… who knows??
Day 5 post-explant: I got my drains out. It didn’t hurt, just felt weird and was disgusting. Dr. H said everything looked great and I was sent home. The next 3 days were BRUTAL because my incisions and drain sites were SO itchy because they were healing. I had to keep frozen peas and ice packs taped to my body 24 hours a day and got prescribed a steroid pack to help as well. There is legit nothing worse than being itchy… but it got better in about 3 days!
I’d love to say the healing process these last 8 months was easy but it was honestly awful. I started an intense detoxification protocol right after surgery in hopes of getting all the toxic levels in my body down. If you’ve ever had to detox from something, you know it can be really rough. I felt like I had a chaotic fire going on in my body. Fever, chills, migraines that lasted 7 days multiple times a month, debilitating pain, panic attacks. IT WAS AWFUL. And I cried… A LOT.
To be honest, I was naive and thought I was going to wake up from surgery and have my life back. I thought the healing process would be quick and that I would be feeling better than ever in no time… but my expectations for the process were way off. My mom continued to remind me that I was really sick for 4 years and that it would take some time to get better. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without my mom, Carl, and all of my support system. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, second to my stem cell treatment in LA.
Aesthetically speaking, I was going into the surgery knowing that it would be a major adjustment post-explant. As someone who has dealt a lot with insecurities and self-esteem in the past, I thought I would be shocked and devastated when we unwrapped the bandage for the first time but for whatever reason, I wasn’t. They looked different, sure… but I didn’t have much of a reaction to it. Thinking back on it, I believe it’s because: 1. I was at the point in my journey where I didn’t give a f*** what I looked like, I just wanted to feel good and gain my health back AND 2. Carl was so supportive about my decision to explant and his reaction to my boob reveal post-op was so sweet AND 3. I was heavily medicated (LOL}
It’s what I needed to do and I did it… I will say, though, that my boobs did look odd for about 2 months post-surgery. The surgeon reassured me that they would fill out and fluff up as time goes on, which they did. There are a lot of progress photos from women on that Facebook group I mentioned, if you’re interested in seeing what I’m talking about!
Now, I am happy to say that I LOVE my little boobs! I think they definitely are way more fitting for me, my style, and the stage of life I’m in right now… and I’m proud of them. I have decently large scars but they are reminders of how freaking strong I am and what I’ve been through. I’ve never wanted anything more than my health and I’ve gone to battle after battle to get it back. I’ve never been more confident in my life! Which is a result of all the work I’ve done internally to get to this place.
I started feeling better around month 5 post-op and it has been steady progress since! I’ll have an occasional neck pain or mild headache, but for the most part I’m doing great!! It’s a wild thing to wrap your head around though… I was so sick for so long. It became my new normal and it was really hard to imagine life beyond being sick. BUT for the first time in a really long time, I am thinking about my future and it is BRIGHT. I’m excited to see what I will accomplish and what the future holds.
That’s not to say I don’t still deal with the aftermath of being chronically ill… I experience severe anxiety and panic attacks and am triggered to tears by just about any physical symptom that may be a little out of the norm. It’s a work in progress but I am just grateful that I am at a place physically, where I can now process through all the emotions of the last 4 years. I’ve just been trying to survive and focus on the physical healing since I first got sick that now is when the emotional healing must happen!
I am so happy to answer anyone’s questions about my journey or experience and will continue to keep updating everyone on my blog! But for now, I am celebrating today and being present in this moment. Every day is a gift and every day that you have your health and feel good is a freaking BLESSING. Don’t take that for granted.
For all of you that have been part of my support system or prayed for me and my family, THANK YOU! I am so appreciative. God is so good and I am jumping into this next stage of my life with a HUGE smile on my face.
Stay tuned for a You Tube video taking you through my explant experience!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
XOXO, E
PS- BELOW ARE PICTURES OF MY CAPSULES AND IMPLANTS – WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC CONTENT!!!!!
