Hi to all my brave souls out there!!!
YES, I am talking to YOU.
It is a hard time right now… and if social distancing wasn’t a thing, I would be giving you all a much needed hug. Things feel uncertain, things feel scary, and things most definitely feel out of control. COVID-19 has truly came in like a wrecking ball (cue the visual of Miley) and the chaos it has created is something I honestly have never experienced before. There have been moments where I truly feel like the world is ending and then there are moments where I am grateful for things slowing down. The emotional rollercoaster of it all is a hard thing to process, which is why I wanted to write this blog. I’m here to share MY experience in response to what is going on in the world and hopefully normalize your feelings and how you are processing it all. Then I’ll share some tips that have helped me survive this time.
As most of you know, I am an immune-compromised individual, which means that I am at high risk regarding the virus… because of that, I have not been able to leave my house in over 4 weeks and let me tell you… it has been TOUGH. In some respect, I feel like I was born to conquer a quarantine because 1. I am most definitely a homebody and 2. much of my life for the past 4 years has been limited to staying at home due to my health.. but I’m not going to lie to y’all, I’ve been having a REALLY HARD TIME and I’m sure some of you babes are too. It’s OKAY to not be OKAY right now.
Let me hit you with the facts. People thrive off of routine and schedules. Predictability ENSURES feeling secure and safe. Without predictability, we are left feeling vulnerable and like our personal worlds are chaotic and out of control. Right now, EVERYTHING is uncertain and we most definitely can’t control what is going on around us. People are sick and dying. People are losing their jobs. Healthcare workers are risking their lives to be at the forefront of this. People are devastated financially. Relationships are being tested. Parents are now adapting to be homeschool teachers. Soon-to-be mamas are wondering whether their spouse will be able to be there for the birth of their child. People are feeling isolated due to mandated social distancing. The list goes on and on. There is a lot to mourn over right now.
I know firsthand that it can be SO easy to slide into a negative mindset during this time, especially if you suffer with depression and anxiety. If I’m being honest, I’ve been in a fight with negativity since the beginning of this madness and my anxiety has been through the roof. It really is overwhelming to think of all the negative repercussions this virus has had on society and it’s easy to get trapped in that place of “everything is so BAD right now”.
In those moments, I think it is important to acknowledge those thoughts and the feelings that come with them. They are VALID and it is NORMAL to have them, especially during this time. And make sure you hear this part – IT IS OKAY THAT YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the main point I want to drive home in this blog is that THIS TIME is YOUR TIME and there is no perfect or right/successful way to be quarantined. If you want to spend this time working out and organizing drawers and learning something new and being PRODUCTIVE AF then by all means BE MY GUEST and go for it!! You go Glen Coco!!! But also, I think it’s important to note that if you want or need to spend this time by sleeping in and eating what you want and watching 6 straight hours of Netflix, that is OKAY TOO!!! Be intentional about being MINDFUL of your needs and desires!!
I think we handle difficult situations by looking to others to see what we SHOULD be doing (which is why all the toilet paper sold out in .2 seconds). When it is crisis mode, we look around to see what other people are doing and react to it by doing the same thing. But this way of thinking forces us to compare ourselves and our days to other people’s… and comparison is a very dangerous thing. When we compare ourselves, especially in situations like right now, there are only two outcomes. You either feel LESS than or you feel MORE THAN and both are wrong and not really helpful.
When we compare our day to day to someone else and feel like we’re not doing enough or we aren’t as productive, it gets us into this self-shaming mentality and shifts us into this place of self-hate and negativity (which I think we can all agree is not a great spot to be in, ESPECIALLY when having to face a global crisis!!). On the other end of the spectrum, if we feel like we are doing MORE than others, it can cause us to have an inflated self-esteem and feel like there is a hierarchy amongst us, which can cause the judgement of others. If this is the case for you, I’m here to gently bring you back to reality and remind you that we are all equal and of worth. We need to always be mindful of the fact that EVERYONE has a struggle they are facing right now.
However you process this time and the nature of what is going on in the world is TOTALLY UNIQUE TO YOU. You have your own triggers and experiences and emotions and that is all an individual experience. It has YOUR name on it and no one else’s. So with that being said, what you do with this down time is perfectly fine… just make sure you are taking care of yourself because you are deserving and worthy.
I wanted to share just a few things that have been helpful for me and my sanity during this time.
1. FOCUS ON THINGS YOU DO HAVE CONTROL OVER: with such an uncertain time, it’s totally normal to feel out of control. That’s why it’s been helpful for me to focus my energy on things that I DO have control over. Things like cleaning the house, decluttering your closet, organizing a drawer, and making your space feel comfortable and safe have definitely helped me.
2. GET OUTSIDE AND BREATHE FRESH AIR: I’ve noticed a HUGE difference in my mood and mindset on the days where I get outside and take a break from screens. Just breathing in the fresh air and having the sun shine on my face and listen to the birds chirp has been literally a breath of fresh air. Be mindful during this time.
3. CONNECT VIRTUALLY WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY: It is totally normal to feel isolated and alone during quarantine. We are SOCIAL BEINGS so it is hard to be forced to limit our interactions with our loved ones. Be sure to be intentional about setting up times to connect with family or your besties (especially if you are an extrovert!!!). I always feel so much better after connecting virtually with my people.
4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE AND THANKFULNESS: I think it speaks VOLUMES about a person when they choose to practice gratitude during a difficult time. Despite the hardships that come with life and this time, we still have so much to be thankful for. We all have our blessings and it’s important to acknowledge them every day! I’ve been super intentional about writing down 5 things I am grateful for every single day. If this includes a person, then call them up and let them know you are thankful for them. This helps spread all the good vibes!
5. DO SELF-CARE: Self-care is literally anything that is just for you and that brings you joy. For me, I’ve been journaling a lot during this time. I always notice such a big difference in how I’m feeling after I journal… much like the feeling I get after talking to my therapist! It’s cathartic and healing. Having a sacred place to just express yourself and your feelings and your experience is so helpful, TRUST ME! If you’re having a hard time identifying things to do for self-care, Pinterest has amazing self-care 30-day challenges! Try one out!
6. BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE: Now if you’re like me, your roots are grown out, you desperately need a mani/pedi, and your skin is so pale it’s practically translucent. When I don’t feel confident, it really dampers my mood and my negative self-talk really gets going. With being quarantined, I can’t do the things in my beauty regimen that make me feel like my best self. That’s why it is SO important to be aware of this and do what you can to feel beautiful. I’ve been doing things to make myself feel good like at-home face masks, applying self-tanner, whitening my teeth, and doing at home mani/pedis. I also pick a few days a week to actually do my makeup and my hair and put on normal clothes. I promise this will help!!
7. MOVE YOUR BODY: On the days that I am intentional about moving my body, I notice a big boost in my mood! I’ve been loving taking long walks or bike rides outside!! There are lots of fun Zumba or dance classes on YouTube, which I LOVE AND a lot of fitness influencers have been doing amazing free online live streams of workouts (@melissawoodhealth is my ALL TIME FAVE)!! Even if you’re having a day where you feel unmotivated, just sit on the floor and do some stretching and deep breathing and I pinky promise that you will feel lighter afterwards.
8. START A NEW SHOW: I started a new show at the beginning of all of this madness (Bloodline on Netflix IS SO GOOD) and it’s been really helpful having that to look forward to every day. Some days I watch an episode a day and others I’ve spent the whole day binge watching Netflix. Don’t be too hard on yourself for accepting this down time and allowing yourself to rest and reset.
9. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY: This is my most important recommendation. I think we all need to rest easy knowing that God is in control right now and that His plan is way greater than anything we could ever comprehend. We will get through this and there is purpose in this season. Like I always say, THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERY SEASON. It might not make sense right now, but with time we will be able to recognize how strong we are and how hard times make us that much more resilient. Trust in the Lord! Focus this time on your relationship with God and lean on Him during this time!
10. STAY THE HELL HOME AND WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!: do your part in flattening the curve and protect yourself and the people who are immune-compromised!!!
Finally, I just want to say that I am here for each and every one of you. Here to talk, here to listen, here to just give you a pep talk if you need it. This time will not last forever and when we are able to resume our normal lives, think of how grateful you will be to hug and talk and GET THAT SPRAY TAN DAMNIT - LOL!!!! We will get through this. One day at a time. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others!!!!
With all the love in my heart,
E